The Inbetweener: I can never feel completely secure in my job again because the ghosts of the GFC still haunt me

For those whose lives were hardly affected by the GFC, it is now a fleeting memory. But if you either lost a business, were made redundant or worked for a firm in liquidation, you may not realise just how strongly affected you are until you are faced with a similar situation again.

Depending on which area of finance you currently work in, you are either running up to the end of the financial year without any sleep, or you will only start getting busy after the new year begins.

I am in the latter situation. It's the calm before the storm before the workload kicks off again. I have been advised to enjoy myself, while those around me have taken a much earned break for another week or so.

Being in this "relaxing" position hasn't put my mind at ease. Not because I don't enjoy the relative peace but because during quiet times in my previous jobs, supposedly calm bosses were actually plotting job losses. So now I've realised how much the GFC has affected the way I view my own employment. It's made me more paranoid.

I have asked for extra work and stayed late as much as possible, even if I have nothing to do, just because I fear that if the prospects for our business were to change, I would be first out the door. I have no grounds to feel this way, apart from my own anxiety about what I have been through during the GFC.

There's no calming me down

Watching the Money Minute each morning and being told that although consumer spending is lower than usual, employment is at good levels, brings no relief. My stress increases every first Tuesday of each month because if interest rates go up, it could be the beginning of the end, just like last time.

I have lost my gut feeling about where I stand from an employment perspective. Before the GFC I thought I was doing my job the way I was supposed to, but in fact I was in a precarious position.

It haunts me every time I read negative figures in the news. And when I hear of others having no work, I look at job adverts, just to be prepared for the worst. The scary part is that I wasn't even one of the worst affected by the GFC. I lost a job, but not a house. I had a lot of family support and was able to rebuild. I shudder to think of the anxiety levels of those who suffered more than me.

My experience has made me a better and more loyal employee but I am frustrated by colleagues who weren't made redundant during the GFC. They seem to just potter along without a care, even when their workload is scant.

If you were left relatively unscathed by the crisis, don't bother trying to understand. You won't. But if you were left out in the cold and have since rebuilt your life, are you sometimes still haunted by the past? And if so, how do you feel about your current job security?

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and not of eFinancialCareers. The author works for a financial institution in Australia.