Morning Coffee: This is dreadful news for Deutsche Bank bonuses. CEO's secret career weapon

Deutsche Bank employees have ostensibly had some good news. The German newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung said on Saturday that the bank will increase its bonus pool from around €500m  ($621.3m) in 2016 to more than €1bn ($1.2bn) in 2017. The increase comes after Deutsche's investment bank performed poorly in the first nine months of 2017, and reflects concerns that another year of low bonuses could prompt investment bankers to defect to more generous competitors.

Even so, Deutsche bankers should not be celebrating. A $1.2bn bonus pool would be less than half as much as the bank paid last time things were "normal" in 2015. Then, the bonus pool in Deutsche's corporate and investment bank alone was 1.5bn euros ($1.86bn) and the bonus pool for the whole bank was 2.4bn euros ($2.98bn). In 2014, it was 2.7bn euros ($3.35bn)

Deutsche Bank isn't commenting on the claim, but has reportedly said the exact level of its bonuses will depend upon how the investment bank fared through the end of the year and what its competitors pay. However, we already know how well the bank fared until the end of the year in sales and trading – revenues were down by -22% year-over-year. Surely, therefore, bonuses in the markets business will be down significantly?

Separately, Dame Helena Morrissey, one of only a handful of women to have ever been CEO of a financial services firm, has nine kids and a mega-salary – what’s her secret? In an interview with Sunday Times, Morrissey suggested it might have something to do with spousal selection. Her husband, a former financial journalist is a stay-at-home dad who produces a gin and tonic when she returns home after a busy day at work. He is supplemented by a nanny and a housekeeper. As a young woman, Morrissey says she worked weekends, but that her own millennial daughters have no intention of doing the same.

Meanwhile:

Nomura hired 15 senior investment bankers in the U.S. – 12 MDs and three EDs – as the Japanese bank looks to restart international growth in the Americas across M&A, capital markets, retail, healthcare and technology. (WSJ)

Army veteran Bryon Linnehan worked as a military police officer and in intelligence before attending a Barclays career event in New York, where a recruiter told him he would be a good fit for compliance work, and now he’s a vice president at the bank. (Bloomberg)

A teenage college freshman routinely digs deeply into companies’ finances and is a future star equities analyst. (WSJ)

Buckle your safety belts, bond traders, because the wild ride you’ve been on this year is about to kick into overdrive, and you’ll need to grapple with market-moving stimuli coming at breakneck speed this week. (Bloomberg)

Ping pools, by-invitation-only VIP lounges enabling dark trading among high rollers, are generating intense interest among those left outside. (Bloomberg)

After "Larry's letter" rocked boardrooms and Davos, BlackRock has committed to doubling the size of its investor-stewardship team over the next three years. (Business Insider)

The multi-billion-dollar hedge fund firm Citadel is expanding its datathon to recruit quantitative grads, offering job interviews to winning students. (HFM Technology)

A survey found that more than 40% of hedge funds are looking to staff up this year, compared to one in seven that are concerned about potentially having to cut costs and shrink teams. (HFMWeek)

Will PE giants such as Blackstone and KKR dissolve their partnership structure to become corporations? (Bloomberg)

What's wrong with quantum computers? (Quanta Magazine)

Here’s one more reason to think twice before quitting your job and moving to Silicon Valley. (Bloomberg)

Conservative Google employees have “weaponized human resources” by goading diversity advocates into inflammatory statements, which are then reported to HR for violating Google’s mores around civility or for offending white men. (Wired)

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