Morning Coffee: The only way to quit banking before you're 35. Infestation at UBS

Firstly, some caveats: we don't know exactly who Alice Adams is and we don't know exactly where Alice Adams worked. Nor do we know whether she has a significant other who supported her in the dereliction of her banking career when she went to write books instead, but Adams has some good things to say about the art of escaping finance before you're too old.

Most importantly, says Adams, who spent "more than 10 years" working "as an asset manager for several London-based banks," you need an exit plan. While you're working and earning good money, you need to plan ahead for a time when you are doing neither. "If you structure your life to be reliant on continuing to earn the same money, you're wearing handcuffs," she tells CNBC. "This was always pretty obvious to me, and I made saving a priority."

If you don't plan and lay financial foundations, your exit will likely prove transitory. Career coaches who work with bankers trying to leave the industry say they often come back again when they run out of money or realize how tough the alternatives are. Not so Adams: since leaving, she's had three offers from major banks and has passed on each to build her new career as a novelist.  "I did not take a huge financial risk," she says. "I made sure I was in a reasonably solid position before making the change."

Separately, there are mice at UBS's office in London. In the past, mice have been known to run across office floors late and night and infiltrate the drawers of UBS MDs to eat their nuts. Now, UBS is preparing to move to a new office at London's 5 Broadgate from August 26tth, but Financial News reports there are fears that the mice will move too. - Packing boxes and bags are being left open ahead of the migration and UBS staff are apprehensive that the mice will hitch a ride.

Meanwhile:

Why J.P. Morgan needed HFT Virtu to explain what happened when its stock fell: 'What Virtu brought was an authoritative, microsecond-by-microsecond review of the complicated mix of trading halts, delayed openings and problems with exchange-traded funds...' (Bloomberg) 

Hedge funds, as a group, produced all the value that they've ever produced by late 2011. Since then they've just been slowly destroying value. (BloombergView)

Some of the biggest hedge funds did OK in July. (Bloomberg) 

In its annual report for the year ended March 31, Nomura said it would continue to strengthen its global macro business, including rates products, and its emerging markets platforms. It just moved Anant Swarup, its north Asia rates head, to the newly-created position of head of emerging markets macro for Europe, the Middle East and Africa. (Financial News) 

J.P. Morgan just hired Rikesh Patel from Credit Suisse as a new head of European loan trading. (Bloomberg) 

If you think the Bank of England's QE programme has been a failure, you've misunderstood how it works. (Economist) 

20% of students due to sit CFA exams in 2016 failed to show up. This has been the case for the past five years. (Financial News) 

Remember when UBS cut its bonuses by 80% and 30 of its staff joined Jefferies? (NY Times) 

There aren't enough schools for bankers' children in Paris, Frankfurt and Dublin. (WSJ) 

Duke of Westminster's advice for entrepreneurs: “Have an ancestor who was a close friend of William the Conqueror.” (Financial Times) 

Duke of Westminster on the 25 son who will now inherit his fortune: “My main object will be to teach him self- discipline and a sense of duty. He has been born with the longest silver spoon anyone can have, but he can’t go through life sucking on it. He has to put back what he has been given.” (Financial Times)

Never go on an adult summer camp. (BuzzFeed)

Photo: Smitt/Getty