Morning Coffee: No, junior bankers are not happy with their bonuses. Goldman MD advises on choosing a husband

The Financial Times says a spirit of caring, sharing and self-sacrifice is afoot in the corner offices of investment banks. Alert to the fact that they’ll have to wait years before packages vest anyway, senior bankers are said to be relinquishing bonuses to make their juniors happy.

Ground zero for this redistributive approach seems to be Deutsche Bank, where MDs would have to wait a full five years to receive any of their 2015 bonuses. Bearing this in mind, two Deutsche insiders told the FT that the bank’s MDs are giving the entirety of their bonuses to their teams, ‘on a case-by-case basis.’

Before any junior bankers get too excited, however, it’s worth looking at the less-than-promising reports filtering out from the banks that have paid so far. At Morgan Stanley and Citigroup, analysts do not appear to have been paid up. – Just the opposite.

Dealbreaker reports that analysts at Citi are “furious” with their bonuses this year after being paid less than expected. Morgan Stanley analysts are said to feel very much the same. 

At US banks, therefore, this bonus round is not proving felicitous for those at the bottom of the pile. So, who is benefitting? We’d suggest it might be the most experienced associates and junior VPs. This is where recruiters say the hiring “sweet-spot” is now; experienced mid-rankers can’t be replicated. Who cares about paying analysts when you can just hire a whole new class in July?

Separately, Heidi Cruz, the Goldman MD who’s taken a temporary leave of absence to help her husband, Ted, fight for the Republican presidential nomination, has been dispensing advice about choosing a spouse. "Marry someone who complements you, literally and figuratively,” Cruz told the New York Times. “- Few, if any, decisions will have a greater impact on your happiness.”

The NYT adds that Cruz has been managing Ted’s fundraising campaign using a “model that seems lifted from Wall Street.” – She specializes in donors of $10k or more and keeps in touch with quarterly meetings and product updates.

Meanwhile:

The number of jobs on offer in the City of London fell by a third in December. That was abnormally steep. (Financial News)  

Desperation for fixed income revenues prompted BNP Paribas and Nomura to trade with an obscure counterparty who's disappeared owing millions. (Bloomberg)

J.P. Morgan just promoted Ed Byers to head of the UK investment bank with Ina De. Conor Hillery, former head of the investment bank with De is now head of EMEA industry coverage for financial institutions. Jake Donavan is the new head of EMEA industry coverage for corporates.  And there’s a new EMEA strategic investors group covering financial sponsors, led by Harry Hampson. (Financial News)

London tube stations with a high incidence of muggings include Liverpool Street and Bank. (The Sun) 

Russian investment banks now dominate the Russian market for the first time ever. (RussiaBehindTheHeadlines)

Where tech firms hire MBAS. (Poets and Quants) 

Collaboration is killing you. (HBR) 

You should have been an astronaut. (Business Insider) 

A 40 year-old ex-Citi banker started a car pooling app. (Bloomberg) 

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