Deutsche Bank MD describes the awful reality of paternity leave

If you're a new father in the UK, you're entitled to up to 26 weeks of paternity leave. Ok, you might not exploit that to the maximum if you're working in the fast-paced, ever-changing, not-very-secure environment of an investment bank, but who's to say you shouldn't indulge your fatherly self for a couple of weeks at the very least?

Jim Reid, that's who.

The Deutsche Bank managing director and global head of credit strategy has put a note out bemoaning the actuality of time spent tending the new infant. Reid, who is also known for his Rihanna rendition on YouTube, says he'd anticipated paternity leave to include, "a little golf," some time to "chill out at the piano," and "time at the gym".

Instead, Reid says he spent his two weeks of paternity leave as a "domestic slave and nappy changer".

"I'm starting to think that the old system of being back at your desk the next day (as was the case when I started in banking) is the better one," says Reid.

Let that be a warning to men everywhere. Procreation is inimical to dilettantism.