Morning Coffee: M&A hiring to happen here. 24 year-old banker confesses to sleeping in shower

This is a good time to work M&A and equity capital markets. While colleagues are being replaced by computers and shopping in Lidl, the fortunes of M&A and ECM bankers are supposed to endure (says Deutsche Bank). And yes, banks are hiring M&A bankers and capital markets professionals as we speak.

Jefferies is the latest bank to announce that it wants some more 'investment banking professionals.' Fresh from divulging a 45% increase in investment banking revenues and a 583% increase in overall net earnings, the diminutive investment bank is feeling a bit bullish. But it's not feeling that bullish. It's not hiring investment banking professionals willy nilly, but will be recruiting them "modestly," says chairman Brian Friedman. It might even be doing some "selective" hiring on the "trading side." Why would you want to join Jefferies? It pays big cash bonuses, of course.  However, it also retracts them if you leave within a year.

Separately, a 24 year-old private banker with the generic name of 'James Turner' told the Evening Standard that he gets up at 5am every morning for work but is compelled to catch up on sleep by napping in the shower. Who said private bankers work less hard? M&A bankers may have something to learn.

Meanwhile:

If you used to work in M&A at UBS and are wondering where to go, why not try Centerview? (Wall Street Journal) 

DC Advisory would like to hire two managing directors in its London office. (Financial News) 

Actually, UK-related M&A deals for 2014 are at the lowest level on record. (Telegraph) 

Ex-head of EMEA financial sponsors at Goldman Sachs reinvents self as a technology banker in Silicon Valley. (DealBook)

When you think of investment banking, you probably imagine beaten-down thirtysomethings, pulling 14 hour days in sterile high rises. (Poets and Quants)

Work-life balance in US investment banks is 3% better than it was. (DealBook)

The several and interrelated roles of a senior M&A banker with no experience. (Epicurean Dealmaker) 

Goldman trader who thought he deserved a $13m bonus is told he didn't by courts. (Bloomberg) 

What is the ROI of an MBA? (300Hours)

When high speed trading mistakes go seriously wrong, seriously quickly. (LRB)

How short selling is a lot like mean girls. (BuzzFeed) 

Actually, private equity professionals have found ways of getting paid even when they don’t perform. (Naked Capitalism)

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