Morning Coffee: JPMorgan to compensate low pay with hipsterish decor. Poker-playing will prepare you for a job in hedge funds

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JPMorgan can be a big payer. In London, the average analyst at the bank is said to earn £58k, while the average managing director earns £827k. In 2012 (the last year for which figures are available), regulated staff at JPMorgan in the UK received £326k each in salary, £361k in cash bonus and £1.4m in deferred cash and deferred stock bonuses. 

Needless to say, persons working for JPMorgan's European operations hub in the seaside town of Bournemouth earn a lot less. Figures on Glassdoor suggest that an assistant vice president at JPMorgan's Bournemouth office earns £45k. An applications developer by the sea earns £35k.

With companies like Facebook and Google paying handsomely to recruit technologists into their growing UK offices, JPMorgan is having to work harder to keep its modestly compensated 4,000 Bournemouth staff happy. It's also having to rethink it's decor.  Google is building a fancy new office at Kings Cross which will have a climbing wall and rooftop pool. From the outside at least, JPMorgan's Bournemouth hub, built 28 years ago, currently looks a lot like a '70s airport terminal. JPMorgan plans to remedy this problem by ratcheting-up the hipster appeal of its Bournemouth campus. No less than $48m is being spent to introduce colour, colourful breakout rooms and inflatable ping pong tables. Jamie Dimon himself put in an appearance at Bournemouth yesterday to announce the upgrade. People there liked him. One told the local paper that their leader, "seemed charismatic and honest.”

Separately, there is further evidence that poker can be good for your hedge fund career. Following Cheyne Capital's recruitment of a poker player last month, Bloomberg reports that Och Ziff has recruited Jeremy Wien, head VIX trader and a competitive poker player from JPMorgan. Wien also seems to be a bit of a wit: “I appreciate greatly all of your advice and encouragement regarding the best ways to lose a few pounds as well as to improve my fashion sense," he told ex-JPMorgan colleagues as he left the building.


The number of new vacancies in the City was 2,740 in April, up by just 4% on March and 5% on a year earlier, said Astbury Marsden. (Financial Times)

Profits just rose 49% at Macquarie. (Bloomberg) 

John Hughes, a former senior trader at UBS, effectively condoned jailed banker Kweku Adoboli’s illegal trading and knew about his use of a secret profit pool known as the “Umbrella.” He’s been banned from the City. (Telegraph) 

Shares in BofA are down about 3% so far this year while Citigroup is down 9%. (Financial Times)

Moelis shares rose 9% on their debut. (Reuters) 

Joe McDevitt, head of Pimco Europe, is retiring.  (Financial News)

Investors withdrew another $3.1bn from Pimco’s total return fund in April. (Reuters)

UBS has banned some of its wealth management staff from going to France, saying they’ll get fired if they do so. (Reuters) 

Depressed actuary killed his ex-girlfriend after panic attacks following a deal involving Goldman Sachs. (Telegraph) 

The preferred candidate desires to spend his or her entire life in this position, at this pay scale, and has prepared since the age of three or so for it and it alone. (McSweeney's)

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