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Hipsters and bankers set to collide in epic Brooklyn showdown

It’s like the TV show Survivor, except they’re replacing venomous snakes and dengue fever with braided beards and untucked flannel shirts. Several thousand Wall Street bankers are soon to venture from their comfortable downtown Manhattan sprawls to a rather foreign land: Brooklyn.

J.P. Morgan, seeking to cut operating costs in the style of its closest rivals, is set to move 2,000 of its lower Manhattan employees across the East River, according to Bloomberg. The majority of the soon-to-be-displaced workers will come from the bank’s 60-story high-rise at Chase Manhattan Plaza. They’ll be relocated to downtown Brooklyn’s MetroTech Center, currently home to social media and tech startups, mostly. The move will begin toward the end of 2014.

In addition, some Manhattan staffers will be moved to J.P. Morgan’s Jersey City office complex, according to Bloomberg. One would assume the refugees would be solely back office workers, but the report says that several of the bank’s business lines will be affected.

The moves fall in line with similar initiatives undertaken by other Wall Street banks. Goldman Sachs has built up a 1,800-person office in Salt Lake City, Utah, and has diligently added headcount to its Dallas location. UBS, meanwhile, is planning to bring 1,000 jobs to Nashville Tennessee; Deutsche Bank has been quietly building up its Jacksonville, Florida facility.

Still, the image of the Brooklyn banker may top them all. Just remember, J.P. Morgan, YOLO doesn’t belong in a prop trading manual. And facial hair transplants are in; toupees are out.

Interview Questions Asked of Research Analysts (eFinancialCareers)

In our recent informal survey, equity research analyst was ranked as one of the most stressful jobs on Wall Street. Well, the interview is no picnic either. Here’s a list of real-life questions recently asked of full-time and internship equity research candidates.

Plagarism (Gawker)

In today’s update on now-unmasked Twitter handle Goldman Sachs Elevator, it turns out he’s a bit of a plagiarist, in addition to not actually having worked at Goldman Sachs. Many of his tweets are slightly tweaked derivatives of the thoughts of others.

Citadel Macro Investing Head Departs (WSJ)

Chicago-based hedge fund Citadel is saying goodbye to the chief executive of its European arm and head of global macro investing. Kaveh Alamouti is retiring but will not be replaced. A portion of his 10-person team is said to be leaving as well.

RBS Sharpens Knife (Bloomberg)

Unsurprisingly, RBS has unveiled a plan to violently slash costs after posting a massive loss. While no specific workforce ramifications were mentioned, certainly cuts are coming. Expect most to occur in the back office and within the retail bank, but who knows.

What Not to Put on Your Resume (eFinancialCareers)

While we work in editorial, readers have a habit of sending us their resumes. Here’s a collection of the most inadvisable and bizarre phrases we’ve seen on CVs.

Changing Seats (WSJ)

Andy O’Brien, co-head of J.P. Morgan’s global debt capital markets unit, has been promoted. He’s been named the global head of loan capital strategy for banking, leaving his former co-head, Jim Casey, alone on the job.

RIP (Dealbook)

Calpers Chief Investment Officer Joseph Dear died Wednesday from prostate cancer. He was 62.

Buzz Around the Office

Weather Or Not…(Bloomberg)

During this week’s investors meetings, J.P. Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon used the word “weather” when accounting for a short-term dip in trading revenue. He meant it metaphorically, but some analysts took it literally and starting blaming snow and wind for the trading rut.

Quote of the Day: "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben

AUTHORBeecher Tuttle US Editor

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