You may have read in the news recently that a journalist in the UK was vehemently criticised for writing about women disliking her for her good looks. She claims to have lost friends, been overlooked for promotion and suffered all sorts of negative consequences due to the jealousy of other women.

It spurred a number of articles about “looks” discrimination, gave rise to research and polls, provoked opinions from everybody (including actors), and divided women; some agreed with her, some turned against her. She made me question whether she was indeed right, or at least was onto something.

As l look back over my career in financial services, sexism seems to go hand in hand with it. But I have learnt to turn a blind eye. We have all heard disapproving comments made about attractive business development managers and their competence, even though they are appropriately dressed and know more than their male counterparts. Then there are those remarks by banker friends that assistants should always look amazing because they, the bankers, work hard and don’t want to be with dowdy, unmanicured girls all day.

Got an interview? Change the way you look

I have even offered friends support when they didn’t get past a first or second interview, particularly if the interviewer seemed cold, curt or downright mean. Maybe the interviewer didn’t give them a chance because there was an element of jealousy. In the past, I myself would always research who was interviewing me, and would change my appearance accordingly, such as by wearing glasses, pulling back my hair, and wearing less make-up in order to appear more business-like.

Before you judge me, let me explain that this was due to a bad interview experience early in my career. I got into the last round and was assured that this meeting would be merely a formality, namely to meet the person whom I was replacing. However, she didn’t like me and I didn’t get the job. The firm couldn’t give me an exact reason why I didn’t succeed; she just felt I wasn’t the “right person” to replace her.

This decision devastated me and tainted my view on what I had expected should have been a fair and equitable process. But it did teach me what effects such behaviour has on others, and as a result, I make deliberate attempts not to be like her.

Playing the jealousy card

Sometimes it gets hard. I remember in a previous job, the client-facing employees were all older men and the assistants were young girls (I was the exception, being the only female in sales). The guys expected there would be jealousy among the girls and that I was supposed to act like a man – one with perfectly manicured nails and sky-high heels, of course.

One of the women couldn’t keep up with her work and started to miss deadlines. She increasingly took sick days, and thought the others would fix things while she was away. This caused huge amounts of anxiety among everyone else, with constant bickering between them. Accusations arose of her colleagues being jealous because of her “good looks”; it got quite ugly.

In reality, the girls weren’t jealous, they were just tired of the extra workload and a lack of recognition. The lazy one pulled out the “girls are jealous of my looks” card every time she made a mistake. It was terrible to see and an unedifying contribution to my learning curve.

Looking at this touchy subject from all angles, one important lesson learnt is that, yes, there appears to be “looks discrimination” in financial services, particularly because clients expect a certain stereotype for females working in banking: being well-presented is essential. I’ve even heard some scathing comments from accountants who express their personalities in criticising the way others look. But “looks discrimination” is so hard to prove because it is so subjective; after all it’s all based on perception.

The Inbetweener is a financial professional in Australia. The views expressed are her own and not those of eFinancialcareers.

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