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GUEST COMMENT: I am being cold called by recruiters trying to place other people in my job

Things are clearly getting desperate. In recent weeks, I've received several calls from 'headhunters' who, thinking they're speaking to my boss, want to place a candidate in my very own job.

How can this be? Well, we're a small but reasonably high profile firm and our website only lists our switchboard number. I answer the phone if my bosses are on calls, in meetings, or at liquid lunches.

The recruiters on the other end are often a bit young and a little green. One or two are just pitch perfect, but most are so bad they'll make you want to buy a tent and start an anti-recruiter protest movement.

Needless to say, my response is not pleasant. I will typically pretend that I am "Chairman and CIO," a position that anyone who's had more than a cursory look at our website will realize does not exist in our sort of firm. If the halfwit falls for this, he or she deserves to be taken for a ride.

Retarded recruiter: "So what's your ideal candidate for a junior role in your fund sir?"

Me: "We like ex-NASA guys mainly. And PHD's in molecular biology. Ideally both. Our unique trading strategy requires a deep understanding of mitochondria. We relate eukaryotic cells to insights into binomial probability, which is key to the delivery of absolute returns to our investors."

RR: "Err. Ok."

Me: "Do you have anyone like that on your books?"

RR: "I'll look into it. I'm sure we can help. I'd love to send you a few CV's"

Me: "Definitely do that. Spam@mitochondria.com is the best email address to catch me on."

RR: "Wait a minute, are you sure that's your rea.."

The author works in asset management.

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AUTHORanonymous anonymous Insider Comment
  • Mr
    Mr Kray
    24 October 2011

    Liz@ yes they do that and sadly, some can even act far worse. Such as, after 4 months of not contacting you, they will call just to ascertain where else your cv has gone to, not to run past any positions by for you. My advice is never tell them. Only if they mention a role for you, should you tell them that your cv has gone to them already- and ONLY then.

    You will also find that recruiters (unless they have worked in that specific field) do not exactly know much about what they are trying to sell. You will find that you will do the explaining and they the listening.

    Another thing you have be mindful off is that they do not always provide a complete job spec- nor do they understand the legal implications for not doing so. There are many more pitfuls that await you but having said that there are some decent ones around.....some where.

  • Li
    Liz
    24 October 2011

    Two weeks ago, a recruitment agent called me and told me that he has very exciting roles that suit my profile very well but he needs to meet me in person and discuss these roles with me as it is much easier that way. I usually have a very tight schedule during the day and I leave early to pick my children from school. But since he sounded very promising, I made alternative arrangements for my children and agreed to meet him at 5PM on friday (Yes, I am desperately looking for a change). We discussed my profile for 45 minutes and with great promises, he left saying he will get back to me after speaking to the hiring managers in several companies. It is more than 2 weeks since that happened, but I neither received any courteous email from him saying it was nice meeting me on friday and he is working on it nor any interview calls scheduled.

    This has left a very bad taste in my mouth about recruitment agents. My colleagues tell me that I should have never agreed to meet him and that I should have better known about their bombastic nature. I had little experience with them in the past as I was always recruited directly. Is this usual with recruitment agents to be this unprofessional?

  • fe
    feederCV
    21 October 2011

    @Ivana Tinkle,

    welcome to the cut throat world of banking. Some recruiters are former bankers and come from the same shark......

  • Ra
    Rainman
    21 October 2011

    sounds to me like your day dreaming and little games have come to an end and the head hunters know that your jobs coming to an end. Perhaps you should listen to the head hunters to see if there is a job for you out there? In all seriousness, I hear Macdonalds are hiring and they do a very good training programme.

  • He
    HeadHunter
    21 October 2011

    @MsCityHunter - ouch, tarnished is a harsh word. I prefer improved. Still no hard feelings!

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