GUEST COMMENT: These intelligence-gathering interviews are an insult to my intelligence
"I hired your boss once" is never the most promising interview ice-breaker. Sure enough, it led to a fairly disastrous interview with a firm which, I suspect, never intended seriously considering me for the role.
In fact, it's clear to me now that the real reason I was called in was just to mine me for information. By the end it was clear that there would be no second meeting. Obscure excuses were made about why I didn't fit the job criteria. Things that a cursory look at my CV should have shown before I even stepped through the door.
I had every right to expect to be taken seriously. On paper I was a suitable candidate. I had the right skillset, the right experience and the right cultural background. I had a couple of years in bulge bracket M&A and a couple more on the buyside.
Even before my interview occurred, however, there were signs that it fell rather a long way down their list of priorities. The interview slot was moved around several times because the boss was, 'very busy meeting top institutional investors.' And when it finally did happen, the interview started late and I spent an unnecessary hour in reception reading the The Times.
I knew what to expect. The website was standard fare for the private equity industry: tanned headshots of individuals with elite academic credentials and a few years' experience at white-shoe, or equivalent, investment banks. When me interviewer finally turned up, he didn't disappoint: open-collared fitted suit, slip-on loafers and perfect hair, he slid almost horizontally into his leather chair behind his mahogany desk.
The next 25 minutes were minutes were no more than a subtle investigation into happenings at my current employer. How was our latest fund raising going? Who were our main investors? Which deals had we looked at? What colour were our carpets?
All the while, my interviewer checked his blackberry. All the while, I struggled to provide answers that would prove ingratiating but not compromising.
It's easy to see why these 'interviews' happen. Markets are moving sideways and there are no new themes to trade. The man I was meeting managed a billion dollar fund in a sleepy (and not very intellectually testing) area, happily collecting huge management fees every quarter.
He must have known this couldn't continue indefinitely unless a new way was found to deliver performance. My boss is known to be cerebral but not good with people. Perhaps we were working on a new trade secret? Maybe he could pretend to offer me a job and I'd impart it to him. Fortunately, I am not that stupid.
