In much the same vein as the Goldman Sachs guide to interview success, it has come to our attention that there is also a Goldman Sachs guide to networking.
It's part of an altogether more comprehensive Goldman Sachs guide to extracting a job offer from a Goldman Sachs summer internship, but could apply to anyone who wants to schmooze their way into the orbit of Michael Sherwood.
The Golden Goldman Rules, summarized and translated (by us) from corp-speak, are thus:
1) Talk a lot of incessant rubbish
"Know when to talk and when it is OK just to listen. Find ways to add value to a conversation - take the time to learn about the people you are speaking with."
2) Get recklessly drunk
"Just because you're not in the office, doesn't mean you're not at work. It is not necessary to drink alcohol just because it's served at the event."
3) Tell the story about your great uncle Oswald
"Remember you are socializing with your colleagues, not your friends."
4) Completely ignore the person you've been networking with after networking with them
"Be sure to follow-up with people you meet, thanking them for their time. If appropriate, schedule an additional meeting."
1) Try to network with people you don't actually know already
"Try to avoid the temptation of only talking to those you know - branch out! Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to those you haven't met yet."
2) Let people talk about how great it is to work at Goldman Sachs
"Take the time to ask your colleagues good questions about their experiences at the firm."
3) Spend some time stalking your networking targets on social media prior to meeting them
"Be sure to do your research on the person you're meeting with and have specific questions in mind."
4) Be aware that you could be slightly irritating
"A professional's time is valuable so be sure to use it wisely."