Lunchtime Links: No nasal hairs at UBS; Harry Potter party at RBS

Just in case you're a UBS private banker who thinks it acceptable to be as facially hirsute as Brian Blessed, it's not. Nor is acceptable to grow your nose hairs, have smelly breath, smelly shoes, shoes which are too small (leading to pinched smiles), cowboy boots, or piercings.

All this and more is apparently contained in a missive from the bank to its Swiss employees, parts of which are published in Le Monde.

Separately, employees at RBS look set to have a lame Christmas party this year. The bank has apparently budgeted 10 per head for their big night. By comparison, it allegedly spent 250 a head on a Harry Potter-themed party for clients and their families in the Science Museum last week. The latter was replete with 'quidditch players on broomsticks and flying Dementors.' Broomsticks at the staff party will be functional and intended for sweeping.

AIB won't be paying bonuses any more after minister said money to support the bank was contingent on their non-payment. (Guardian)

Wall Street bankers now taking packed lunches on NetJets. (Wall Street Journal)

Head of the French financial markets regulator is cutting his salary 30%. (20minutes)

Michel Barnier, EU's financial regulation commissioner, has only been to London four times since February. (Financial News)

Michel Barnier accuses bankers of blackmail for threatening to move to Asia. (Financial Times)

Siggi Thorkelsson, former head of Asian equities at BarCap, and a former Lehman equity derivatives banker, is to be head of European equities at the bank. (Financial Times)

56 year old Moore Capital trader takes early retirement. (Financial Times)

RBC has lost its top credit rating. (Financial Times)

Accountants plan to start hiring students straight from school. (The Times)

The best traders -- those who get the calls right -- may well head for Asia or New York. Europe will be left with the dunderheads. Is that what the EU intended? (Bloomberg)

Investors lose almost everything in Bluecrest's fund of funds. (FinAlternatives)

At five o'clock one morning, Gordon Brown told his wife Sarah that she needed to be ready to move out of Downing Street if a bank recapitalization failed and he had to resign. (Bloomberg)

The world's best Powerpoint presentations. (Labnol)