INTERN DIARY: At the intern party, most employees drank nine pints each
After a few hours in the gym over the weekend, in a last ditch bid to get into shape for the bank's football match this week, I limped into the office on Monday aching and feeling sorry for myself. This sense of self-pity was soon replaced by a vague sense of outrage when I found out that the analyst on my desk was not coming in for the rest of the week due to 'personal reasons'.
I was tempted to pick up the phone and lambaste the analyst, or at least send at strongly-worded e-mail, but I realised that wouldn't be particularly smart career move. Instead, I smiled politely and told my MD that it wouldn't be a problem - if he needed anything done, he should just send it through.
A string of pings emitted from my computer before I'd even had time to remove my blazer. Looking down, I saw a river of e-mails from the MD with a shopping list of various tasks and projects to be completed. One of these needed to be done within seven minutes!
It was by no means a simple task; it involved dismantling and working out the value of a very complex asset using a variety of techniques. I managed to complete it within 12 minutes - and perhaps as punishment for my tardiness, the MD sent through another four tasks. It was going to be a long week.
Anyway, elsewhere this week, I finally got a taste of the heavy drinking culture associated investment banking described in books like Cityboy and How I Caused the Credit Crunch. I was expecting this to be a big part of my internship, but up until this week there had been very little in the way of boozing.
It DOES happen though, as I found out when we went out to a club and the bank laid on an open bar for the staff. We certainly made the most of it. After university, I'm no stranger to heavy drinking, but this took it to a new level. On average, most employees had about nine pints.
Ironically, the most seasoned banker in the team proved the least seasoned drinker. We heard the next day that the MD lost his wallet and keys before falling asleep on the street. To make matters worse, he was going on holiday the next day and missed his flight! Some of the interns were just as bad - losing mobiles, keys and wallets and using the street as an impromptu bed.
However, the biggest event of this week was the bank's football match. I naively signed up, not to demonstrate my sporting prowess, but in an attempt to develop some front office contacts. The only competition I've ever won was an all you can eat contest at Pizza Hut.
Due to a few last minute cancellations, we only manage to rustle up 11 players, which meant no subs and a full 90 minutes for yours truly. I opted to play striker, more for damage limitation - I might not score a goal, but at least there was less chance of being responsible for conceding one.
We ended up winning 4-3, without a single goal (or assist) from me!
One of the things I'd disliked about my internship so far was the lack of things to do, but this was definitely not the case on this desk! I'd never been so tired in my life, but there was also a strange sense of satisfaction at the end of the week. It was actually interesting, and I learnt a lot.
This was my last week on this desk, however. With some sadness, I wished farewell to my colleagues, who didn't even bother looking up from their screens. There's no time for sentimentality in investment banking, it seems.
