GUEST COMMENT: If it came to it, I'd rather be a civil servant than work at a nationalised bank
I spent the weekend with some former colleagues from my hellish time at a Mayfair PE shop. They were on diet water on the rocks at the polo, while the rest of us had to struggle through with Veuve yellow label.
The difference in beverages was attributable to their decision, post-hellish hedge fund, to take the "safe" option (the one with piddly bonuses). They now work for Government-owned banks, while the rest of us still display a reasonable grasp of the notion of capitalism.
One chap, works for one of these institutions. Poor boy. Harrowing tales of appalling IT infrastructure, demoralised staff, residual "dis-synergies" of mergers, shared PA's, read like a Stephen King novel. I even heard that they don't get comfy lumbar-support chairs. Welcome to the stone age.
To be honest, I could live with all that backwardness. The worst of it is that the stigma attached to these bailouts destroys the very essence of investment banking: the Glamour.
Let's be honest, most IB staff already live way beyond their (often considerable) means, it's all part of the image. Banking without the Glamour? You may as well be in risk.
But it's not just the UK banks that are shadow of their former selves. I recently worked with several banks of Celtic origin. The bankers were asking for "promotion fees" to release foreclosed assets to our fund. Who can blame them - no bonuses and no raises. We recently suffered at 5% fee to purchase a high quality foreclosed asset at residual loan value. Some are clearly finding work-arounds to put the sparkle back into their business and ultimately, their pockets.
The bottom line is, if you work for the Government directly at least you get the perks. There are near-unionised work mentality, easy hours and if you play your cards right, a knighthood after a decade or two.
It's far worse working in a nationalised bank with private sector performance expectations and civil servant pay. Bite the bullet, enrol in the fast-stream for HM Treasury, and do the real thing. At the very least, this way you'll have the moral high ground.
