GUEST COMMENT: A memo to Mrs Busybody in HR

Dear HR Partner, Head of Leadership & Talent Management, Learning & Development Coordinator or whatever else we're calling Personnel these days,

We in the business have some requests we'd like you to take notice of, please.

Firstly, could you possibly provide us with an accurate list of all the people who work for us? If the list could also include their titles (internal grade not the nonsense they write on their business cards, by the way), salary and when they were hired that would be excellent. I know it's asking a lot but at bonus time we would like the list to include the previous year's numbers. Given that this is so difficult, maybe it's best if you don't focus on anything else until this information can be provided...and provided consistently. OK?

Now, a few other little guidelines:

Interviewing

I'll arrange interviews, thanks. I'll make sure that the appropriate people from the team and the management group meet with a variety of candidates who I know to be potentially suited to a role. How do I know? Well largely because they are likely to be people I've worked with before or people who people I work with have worked with before.

They may also come from a headhunter but, importantly, I know and understand the job they are going to be doing and the interactions they will be having. Remind me again what you are bringing to the interview table? At this point, do not suggest CIDs interviews, psychometric testing modules or role play. Just don't go there, OK? This is not Google. In addition, the forms that I will have to fill in should not be 17 pages long and incomprehensible, and a contract that requires a few pieces of specific information to be added to a standard document does not take a week to produce.

Policies

I'm all for policies. A nice thick booklet in a new joiner pack is comforting. It lets you know you're joining a big company making enough money to waste time on producing this stuff. No problem there but let's not pretend they make any difference. European employment law is pretty clear on discrimination and a frighteningly large number of people are more and more aware of their 'rights'. A diversity policy doesn't make it easier for a woman to be consistently the only one of her gender at her level in your firm. She doesn't need it to be made easier.

Leave her alone and let her get on with it.

Day to day business

Why do I need to have a weekly meeting with my HR Partner? The best 'partners' I've ever worked with have been there when I've needed them and largely absent otherwise. If we're actively hiring (or firing), or in the middle of the end of year process, then fair enough, otherwise please leave me alone. I do not want to talk about mentoring (being one, having one or, even worse, forcing any of my staff to have/be one), soft skills training and definitely not the MD promotion process. Maybe pick names out of a hat instead or is that already part of the process?

In summary, we would like you to focus on where you do add value and stop adding mindless levels of bureaucracy and process to ensure you have something to do during the day. Oh and please get my data right. That's important.

Regards

The Business