Living dangerously: Diary of an ABS professional, Week 8

In which Mr ABS sidesteps the equities bomb and welcomes a wave of new faces to the land of joblessness.

This week has certainly been a monumental one. Plummeting equity markets may not be good news for ECM bankers or corporate financiers, but they do at least make sense.

While I was hopelessly watching the collapse of the ABS market during August and September, it was with total bewilderment that I observed the antagonistic movements of the equity market. It was as though any bad news hitting the ABS market was seen by the equity market as a reason to cut interest rates and was greeted with three cheers. Things seem to have caught up dramatically.

I have never been so detached from the equity markets. Back in August and September I was hoping equities would collapse, if only to prompt the Bank of England into some radical action. It didn't happen.

Now the crash has come to pass, I'm fortunately not one of those bleeding from every orifice - I gave up trading with my own money long ago. My last buying order was for some Marconi stock when it was in administration; within a few weeks I had doubled my bet. I then got sucked into a deal, and when I resurfaced I was left with stock worth peanuts.

It was a loss that I could afford, but it taught me that as I didn't have time to monitor my positions I ought to stay out of it. The exceptions are obviously the shares I have in my last employer, but I have every intention of selling them as soon as they're vested, and to be frank I stopped checking their trading level long ago.

Markets aside, my main concern at the start of the week was not that I've finally reached the point of telling a headhunter who offered me an interview with a fifth-tier bank to bring it on, but my wife's determination to turn me into a domestic fairy.

For several years now she's been trying to convince me that her life is harder than it looks, and how better to achieve that than to get me to participate in it. I could hardly pretend I was busy and as a domestic argument is the last thing I need, I agreed to cooperate (for a week). She proved to be a relentless slave driver and my hands are already giving up; they're covered with eczema, courtesy of the countless cleaning products. If I have another interview I am sure to make a lasting impression with my new magic handshake.

Last week I said that I felt less lonely knowing that I was not the only one out of a job, but it looks like my no man's land is getting too crowded now.

Once my notice period is over the dole queue will be crowded with familiar faces. I heard of around 50 casualties at Deutsche Bank on Wednesday. People would probably have been given three minutes to clear their desk. Last week's FT said that UBS would cut their CMBS team by 50%, which is interesting given they recently invested in hiring part of the Credit Suisse team. Merrill Lynch made an entire team redundant and there's has also been ABS blood on the carpet at Calyon, Citi, BNP and MS.

There are rumours of more cuts to come. If I've forgotten anyone, or you're simply feeling left out, please let me know....