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"Banks are full of psychopathic 50-year-old men predating upon women in their 20s"

So, a female banker is losing her job for having an affair with a junior colleague? It's the kind of salacious revelation that grabs attention, but men in banking have affairs with female juniors all the time. And male bankers and traders almost never lose their jobs: it's the young women who get forced out.

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I am one of those women. I had a relationship with a more senior man at the US bank I was working for in London. In the end, it was me who had to leave and not him.

It's something that young women need to be warned about. I started my financial services career when I was 23, and I worked on the trading floor. The men there were sharks. They stared at every young women like they have never seen a woman before. It's creepy. These were men in their 50s and when the young women walked across the floor they would undress them with their eyes. I could walk into a bar full of drunks and I wouldn't feel as uncomfortable as I did there. 

The man I had a relationship wasn't that much older than me, but he was more senior. Initially, he seemed charming and kind, but psychopaths are often charming and kind when they want something. As our relationship evolved, he began harassing me and I was trapped. 

I went to HR, as do most women in banking when things start going wrong in these relationships. But the men are almost always more senior, and banks want to retain them. HR will tell you that the guy has done nothing wrong. There's no real investigation. Instead, they will usually tell you to get a role in a different team or will offer you three months' salary and ask you to sign a non-disclosure agreement. The women leave, and the men are exonerated. 

The non-disclosure agreements mean women's stories are never heard. Women are bullied into signing them, and the men are made protected individuals who can never be accused publicly of what they've done. Typically, this didn't happen in the case of Nadine Ahn at RBC. But Nadine is a woman who wronged a man. 

Amber Carney is a pseudonym

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Photo by Wai Siew on Unsplash

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AUTHORAmber Carney Insider Comment
  • An
    Anon654
    16 April 2024

    Nobody should lose their job over consensual relationships. Nor should anyone involve HR in them.


    This article is very out of date. These days banks are terrified of women making complaints and HR (who are nearly all women) will side against the male, even 8f they haven't done anything wrong.

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