Morning Coffee: This explains a lot at J.P. Morgan. Vegans at Goldman Sachs

As we've noted before, J.P. Morgan has been performing various contortions to attract technologists to go and work there: there are the 'drawable surfaces' and blue scooters at 5 Manhattan West in New York, there's the $48m revamp of its 'campus' at Bournemouth in the UK, and there's a palpable attempt at propagating the notion that working for J.P. Morgan is a bit like working for Google - minus the internet balloons and contact lenses that monitor blood sugar. 

Now we know why: J.P. Morgan has been hiring a lot of technologists. It needs to be as appealing to them as possible.

In her presentation during J.P. Morgan's investor day yesterday, J.P. Morgan CFO Marianne Lake said the US bank now employs 40,000 technologists. That's an increase of 10,000 in two years (in a 2013 investor letter, JPM said it employed 30,000 technologists). 18,000 of those 40,000 are developers, said Lake.

Where are all these tech people? J.P. Morgan reportedly employs around 4,500 of them in Europe, of whom 1,000 are in Bournemouth and 800 are in Glasgow. In the US, J.P. Morgan Chase is building"tech hubs for millennial staffers," including Manhattan West and Delaware. Most of the new technology staff are likely to be in Asia though, where J.P. Morgan already has a 'global centre for IT excellence' in Singapore and plans to hire "a few thousand extra technologists" over the next two years.  

Separately, Goldman Sachs staff may want to drop their egg white omelettes for tofu and nut roast. Yesterday, the bank invited Russell Simons, a millionaire entrepreneur and philanthropist, to give a talk on resilience to its staff. Simons founded Def Jam Recordings in the 1980s, but is now busy promoting his book, 'The Happy Vegan', which advocates the virtues of a plant-based diet.

Meanwhile:

Sales and trading revenues at J.P. Morgan are down 20% year-on-year so far in 2016. (Bloomberg)

Jamie Dimon has already made $2.3m on those JPM shares he bought a few weeks ago. (WSJ) 

The start to 2015 is a tough comparison period for markets revenues because J.P. Morgan saw an increase in flows during that period after the Swiss National Bank decided to unpeg the franc. (Business Insider)

Credit Suisse is making in total around 200 redundancies in London this week, of which just under half will be in its global markets division, according to a source. Among the more high profile names put at risk is Greg Arkus, head of sovereign, supranational and agency debt capital markets and syndicate. (Reuters) 

ING bank will likely layoff a number of London staff members if the United Kingdom decides to withdraw from the European Union. (NLTimes)

Credit Suisse hired Steven King from Morgan Stanley to drive its sales of algorithmic trading services in the Asia-Pacific region. (Bloomberg) 

Standard Chartered could claw back bonuses from up to 150 senior staff after slumping to its first annual loss since 1989. (Reuters)

There will be no more fixed pay allowances at Standard Chartered in London. (Marketwatch) 

Fergus Edwards, a super-senior syndicate banker at Mitsubishi UFJ in London, is leaving. (Global Capital) 

Morgan Stanley has hired Jako van der Walt from J.P. Morgan to lead its investment banking business for South Africa, rejoining the firm he left about 10 years ago. (Bloomberg)

The code names for Deutsche Boerse and LSE during their putative merger talks are Delta and Luna. (Reuters) 

Steven Bommarito, the head of Credit Suisse Group AG’s credit risk review team for the Americas, has died aged 45. (Bloomberg) 

Hot hedge funds that are hiring now. (Bloomberg) 

Photo credit: right before he started giggling by sharyn morrow  is licensed under CC BY 2.0.