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Day in the Life: Spoof Silicon Valley VC

05:45 Alarm clock goes off. I pick up the Blackberry from the night-stand and fire off an email to portfolio company CEO to demonstrate "around-the-clock" vigilance. Then, I go back to sleep.

08:30 I wake up. I must decide whether to have breakfast in the kitchen, dining room, sunroom, veranda, or gazebo. Have "breakfast meeting" with Rex and Fido.

09:45 Drop child off at nursery school. Banter with child's teacher. Ha, that teacher doesn't make in a year what I spent in Lanai over New Year's. Wow. I haven't been to Hawaii in three months. Call assistant, regarding scheduling a technology conference in Hawaii.

10:30 Arrive at office, remark loudly that these breakfast meetings are killing me. It's been 'go, go, go' all year. The pace is killing me. Makes you wish it was 2002 again.

10:45 Call CEO of semi-conductor portfolio company. Ask if he's considered building a services component to his business.

11:45 Damn. Late for lunch. Sometimes they run out of the olive bread at Il Fornaio. Gotta run. Thank god for the Carrera. That damn BMW 545 didn't have any giddy-up.

13:15 Call CRM portfolio company CEO, remind him that blogging is hot. Has he ever thought about Customer Support blogs? That'd be cool.

13:30 Oops. Late for meeting with entrepreneur looking for funding. But had to finish game of "Minesweeper" first. Hee hee.

13:45 Apologize for being late. It's been 'go, go, go' lately. The pace is killing me. Our firm is a little different... all of our partners were operators, so we know what it's like to run a company. We're pretty conservative investors here - we only put money to work where we can really make a difference and add some strategic value. We try to be respectful of your time, so we'll give you a 'quick no' if this isn't something that interests us...

14:30 Wow! Fifteen voicemails from entrepreneurs. 'What's the next step?' Why does everyone need to know what the 'next' step is? I'll tell you what my next step is... out my office door to the lunchroom. Ooo., Blackberry Odwalla. I love Blackberry Odwalla. Note to self: have wife buy See's candy for the office manager who buys the juice next Christmas. Odwalla, Odwalla, Odwalla. I love Odwalla.

14:45 Damn! Sequoia has a term sheet out to Acme Intangibles. Find associate. Why the hell didn't we look at Acme? That frigging company is hot. Instead, you bring me this piece of rubbish company in storage management? Christ. Damn associates never see the big picture. Oooooo... The TED conference. When is TED? Gotta get into the Monterey Plaza. Margaret stuck me at the Marriott last year. How much did that suck?

15:15 Fax term sheet to Acme. Wonder what the hell they do? No worries. Those guys at Sequoia diligence the hell out of deals.

15:45 Isn't there any political candidate who still needs a fundraiser? How the hell did Gorenberg get Kerry? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Should've snagged Kerry back in December. What about the Senate? There must be a senator who needs electing.

16:15 Sharon Heights. Networking. Bob said the monthly dues are deductible, right? Bob rocks. Best accountant ever.

20:15 Sorry I'm late honey. It's been 'go, go, go' all year. Can't do this too much longer. Can Isabel stay late tonight to make some dinner?

AUTHORAnonymous Insider Comment

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